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Triggering [[resistance]] in someone makes it more likely that they will commit to the position they talked about- after they’ve talked about it. So, it will make it harder for them to [[change]] if they talk with a position against the change.
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"[[Turn]] in the [[direction]] of the skid" while [[driving]] on [[ice]]. Once [[traction]] is established, then turn.
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The person who is to be changed has to be the one to [[talk]] about why they should [[change]].
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To [[change]], [[people]] need to see a difference between what they [[want]] and what is.
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When something someone is doing goes against something they deeply [[want]], it is what they are doing that will [[change]].
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Mis[[alignment]] can be necessary for [[change]], since it is the first step to noticing a [[difference]] between what they [[want]] and what they do.
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- What would make someone consider how the way things are doesn’t [[fit]] them?
- What would make someone consider a [[change]] to [[fit]] them?
- What would make someone consider that [[change]] is possible?
- What would make someone [[talk]] about how they are going to [[change]]?
- [[Change]] can only come to people if a part of them really does [[want]] to change.
- [[Change]] is easier when it is drawn out gently, instead of pushed.
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A kind of [[talk]] to people to help [[change]].
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- [[Accept]] where people are. [[Listen]] to them to hear where they are.
- Help [[explore]] what they [[want]] until they see a difference between what they want and what is.
- Go in the direction of their [[resistance]] to [[change]]. This is [[Kuzushi]].
- Give [[energy]] to anything they say that [[moves]] toward [[change]].
- When something is seen as a [[block]] to their [[want]], they will be more likely to [[change]] it.
- The perceived [[difference]] between what they [[want]] and what is has to be amplified to bridge the difficulty of [[moving]] to get what they want.
- Ask about wants that might be blocked by the thing they are doing that needs to [[change]].
- People are most persuaded by what they say. What do they [[notice]] that they say to themselves? What feels interesting to them? What are they excited at having said?
- When there is [[push]] back, [[pull]] and [[move]] to [[change]] an [[angle]] very slightly.
- Involve them in solving the [[problem]]. The [[solution]] has to be theirs, for them, to [[trust]] it.
- When there is [[push]] back, [[shift]] to another [[angle]].
- Someone cannot be [[responsible]] for [[change]] if they think they cannot change.
- Offer help to [[change]], and give them the [[choice]] of taking it or leaving it.
- A [[talk]] can move toward [[harmony]] or [[dissonance]].