đź“• Node [[thank you for being prime the impossibly beautiful anime hologram stewardess says as six axis]]
đź“„ Thank-you-for-being-Prime---the-impossibly-beautiful-anime-hologram-stewardess-says--as-six-axis.md by @enki

“Thank you for being Prime,” the impossibly-beautiful anime hologram

stewardess says, as six-axis…

The trash can blushes — pink lights in its undercarriage — and says “excuse me” before zipping away. I make my way toward the bathroom but…


“Thank you for being Prime,” the impossibly-beautiful anime hologram stewardess says, as six-axis manipulators emerge from beneath the arm wrests and unbuckle my seatbelt, gently pushing me into the aisle. “Welcome to Mars; please quickly but calmly make your way to the jetway.” As I stumble into the spaceport, legs numb with gravity adjustment sickness, I trip over a trash- can.

The trash can blushes — pink lights in its undercarriage — and says “excuse me” before zipping away. I make my way toward the bathroom but the entrance is blocked by another machine who has helpfully brought me my suitcase (and is now using it to prevent another rushed-looking traveller from leaving). The man gives me a quick apologetic look, then savagely kicks my suitcase.

The urinal will not open its carapace to allow me to piss; it senses that my karma score is not high enough — a side effect of A short-lived dispute with a shady third-party seller in 1997. I urinate in a nearby (seemingly non- intelligent) trashcan instead. I notice that I am not the first; it will need to be emptied or overflow in about three flights.

By John Ohno on November 19, 2017.

[Canonical link](https://medium.com/@enkiv2/thank-you-for-being-prime-the- impossibly-beautiful-anime-hologram-stewardess-says-as-six-axis-53043ee52228)

Exported from Medium on September 18, 2020.

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